Gina?

From TSA a few hours ago. I left my gouache and acrylic in Oakville so I thought I'd try a little digital - was the best thing I've ever done. SO fun! I can't wait to go back next friday - so expect to see more of these. The only problem is I'm restricted by the one outlet in the room for my power cable.. haha, so chances are they will be at the same angle.

I finished my internship - summer! I have so many things I gotta do, and want to do. Take things up to another level now, no time to waste. If you notice I've been posting rather infrequently lately, well, I've grown more fond of deviantArt, cgsociety, and conceptart communities - blogger seems a bit disconnected to the world in many ways, but it will remain my outpost in the desert should anyone wish to find me.

I'm not going to lie, lately I've been feeling really restless, impatient, eager, frustrated, and confused. I keep feeling like I'm searching for something. I keep feeling like I'm lost, that I'm not on the right track to achieving my goals - what are my goals?? I don't even know what I want to do (actually, thats not true), I want to do EVERYTHING if I could. All of it, in some way shape or form. But you have to decide right. I was so stoked about doing a personal film in 4th year but now I don't know, I don't see how that brings me closer to my dreams. Part of my frustration comes from hearing about all the awesome things my homies are doing out in the world at their various studios across the world, meanwhile I'm stuck in Toronto doomed to do nothing but wait for another chance to jump onboard. I can't wait to get out of this place. All I know is that I won't stop painting while I think about.. I'll never stop, not anymore.

Blizzard Comic Contest Winner

STAR TREK

Oh. My. God.

WHATEVER you are doing at this second, DROP IT, and GO SEE STAR TREK RIGHT NOW!

I just got back from the best movie experience I've ever had. I'm totally not a trekkie myself, never seen an episode, but the movie was standalone fantastic. It did absolutely everything I've ever wanted to do with a film. You know, I'm so grateful that I live in a day and age where humans make movies of this caliber and imagination. I refuse to give away any moments from the film, just please...

Go. And. See. It. Now.

Moving Forward

This always happens: for the last few months we were slaving away at school and yet the whole time I felt my artistic development was on hold. I'm not learning anything, or atleast, I don't feel I'm improving in the areas I want to. Now that summer is here, I hope to do some serious catch up.

Despite being proud that yes, we finished the group film, and yes, some of it was cool, it still left a bad taste in my mouth. Time to move on. Animation is a lot of friggin work. Period. So many times I'll feel like we kill ourselves over something, show it to people not in animation, and then they'll go, "Huh.. yea, nice." To me, there is not nearly enough gratification in that to justify the insane amount of work that goes into it. I totally respect the artform, I love the artform, but I do not want to pursue it for the rest of my life. That's ok though, no shortage of people who do.

My uncle died of lung cancer last week and I was a pallbearer at the funeral. Needless to say it was tragic, but I couldn't help but notice that it was a life experience that I just know I will refer back to another day. Whether it's for my art, or my film, experiences like that are what I draw on for inspiration and emotion when I'm making.. art. To me, what makes a really good image is when I react emotionally, and I think, man, whoever did this was totally concious of what he was creating... it must be coming from a place he's been. The weaker ones are the ones where the artist will just slap on a frown and be like, here, this is sadness! No... real emotion comes from somewhere deeper. It's all about believability.

I've started a daily blog. I've decided to get serious about my craft this summer, no more screwing around, out of time, one more year to go! It will simply be sketches/paintings and studies of somekind - every day. How long will I keep it up? Doesn't matter, the real intent is to develop a good habit.

Gorilla Warfare

Doomsday Reversal Fleet has completed its mission: WE HAVE SUCCESSFULLY REVERSED THE DOOM! Today we finished our 3rd year film. It has been an incredibly long and tiring road but I have never felt so good. The last few days have -hands down- been the most brutal I have ever had to live through and I'm not exaggerating in the slightest. I have never been pushed to such a level of exhaustion - never been asked to complete such a tall order of work. But we met it. To those of you who fought - thank you so much for your dedication to this year long project - you deserve the results we achieved.

To those of you who said we couldn't do it, that never had any faith from the get-go, that failed to improve the group in any way, that selfishly refused to work as a team, that detracted from the focus of our efforts, that sought only to destroy the morale and fun of everyone, that never had to sacrifice anything for this film, that are now choking on their poisonous words and are content with mediocre - there is no place for you in this business.

And next time, please, get out of the way.

Portfolio Complete

So, after many hours, blood, sweat, and tears, I am proud to say my concept art portfolio is complete. The links to the right are now active. I still have to finalize which lifedrawings to use and tweak my demo reel later this week. Mentally, I'm exhausted - and it doesn't end here. Over the next few weeks, or months, I'll be applying for summer internships at various game studios (wish me luck!). I'm stoked, it's happening, the real stuff - finally - is here. Time to test my mettle. 

Portfolio in progress. Countdown Begins: 19 days remaining...

Thawing

Man, I haven't posted anything in a long time. Portfolio isn't where I'd originally planned it to be right now. That makes me sad. Here's a sketch that I had to do just to reacquaint myself with painting again - animation is done on different gears.

I saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button today. Holy crap, THAT is what you call a movie people. It was an epic - no really - the amount of period design that went into that is sick. How they aged the characters was flawless. Solid cast. Solid acting. I hope it wins best picture and best makeup. But above all, I really liked some of the messages in it, pertaining to appreciation, death, and time. It was deep.

Nocturn

An office of devotion, or act of religious service, by night.

One hour and three minutes ago we ended three of the most intense weeks of BAA animation we've had to date. Relieved is an understatement. I'm so elated right now that when I finished I didn't know what to do with myself other than just stand there not knowing what to do. Get me home. My sleep schedule is REDICULOUSLY out of wack. Every day this week I woke up at 5:00pm and went to bed at 6:00am or later (.. or earlier?) which meant I literally did not see the sun except for brief glimpses on the horizon. On the other hand, I've made some interesting observations about the 'day' cycle and have a new grasp of time and how short a day really is before the sun comes round again...

My action analysis is done, and while its not everything I wanted it to be, I'm surprised I managed to get what I got. It occured to me, after all the complaining, whining, crying, screaming, frustration, and bloodshot eyes over this tiny 5second animation, when you see it come together in the last 35minutes all the pain goes away and is replaced by... achievement. I'm actually really pleased with how it turned out and in the end it kind of makes all the hardship tolerable. Our group film is clocking in at 3:20mins. I almost died on a 5second clip. What does that say?

Haha... to all my buddies, have a great break we'll see you in four glorious weeks ~ Cheers!

First look at my AA - work in progress.

Kafka

Stamina

The next four weeks are going to be an intense test of endurance and focus. I'm not stressed, yet, but it's like that feeling you get when you know you have to climb a really high mountain with steep cliffs, razor sharp rocks, deathly slick ice, avalanche teetering snow, and some flying sharks. Yes, flying sharks exist on steep mountains. Tackling the group film, action analysis, assignments from every class, and now portfolio is a tall order. In the near future I will also be uploading work to Sheridan's portfolio site - which is actually pretty awesome to use. Feels like you can't look to the side for even a moment, because if you do, you might just get a 3000 tooth surprise.

In Rainbows

Breaking into colour. The angle of the third one makes her look androgenous but she is infact a she. To be honest lifedrawings should be seen in real life to be fully appreciated - seeing them in full makes them look 45% more beautiful. On a seperate note, Randolph and I both turned 21 yesterday. Cheers.

Primate Preview

Anyone in my group is probably sick to death of seeing these preliminary boards... sorry. To anyone else though its new cheese and I like to keep the blog rolling. I also wanted to make a post just to mark our latest milestone: the story is done! After many, many revisions, dead ends, circles, and one complete overhaul, it's finally something that works and that I am totally stoked for (hopefully the group feels that way too). Storyboarding phase is about to start, and THAT kids is what makes Jeremy go crazy. And I probably won't put up any more of these... to keep it all a delicious suprise.

I Forgot You, My Love

Lifedrawing used to be my favourite thing.. ever. I stopped attending XLD so religiously in 2nd year when we had the most horrendous teacher in the world. Yea, she was the WORST teacher in the world because she made you UNLEARN. Incredibly she actually made me hate my favourite subject. Specifically, I loathe her for losing one of my favourite drawings - and not just a single 18x24 pose, but a perspective assignment with 7 bodies on it that was very elaborate. I get so rediculously enraged when I think about how much I loved that piece and now its in some wasteland lost for all time doing nothing. To make matters worse, it was such an awesome portfolio piece - probably one of the best I've ever drawn and as I drew it, I was like, yea man, think I got something special here. I can only take solace in the fact that she was promptly fired the next semester.

But I think I'm going back to my ways... the wound has healed. LD, how could I ever forget you?

A lot to Juggle

Space refugees on board a zeppelin abandon their over-polluted home world. This is a direction we were going in for the film but we've totally redone it. And I do mean totally.

Reading week is, thankfully, only about 34hours away. I'm not going to complain about the work load - that is expected and by now can be tolerated. It's not just the school and group film stuff though, I'm really wanting to dive into my portfolio. I'm not worried about doing it, I'm worried about having the time to make it what I want it to be or what it NEEDS to be if I'm to get a good co-op position that really excites. It's also hard when you know you want to do games, but everything in this program is animation geared and so nothing is really applicable.

3rd Year Group Film

We've just pushed the boulder over the hill. It's coming. And you're going to love it.

Fair Play

So here's my summary of 3rd year so far: it's awesome. It's so friggin awesome. This is my favourite semester yet because of the 'production' nature of all the classes. I don't feel like I'm in school anymore, I'm just at a workhouse, hanging out with my film crew at meetings and having animation, layout, and storyboard class all jamming together for the group film. Jamming. Yeah that's it. Were still learning but were using that knowledge now to make music. And I'm glad as hell we have an awesome lifedrawing teacher - T - is gonna make us pro. I've hit a good vibe, and all the freelance work I've been doing has loosened me up and made me a more confident drawer - which I hope to maintain.

Ahh...

There is not a hint of insanity in this text but rather solid resolve. I had a revelation this summer. I'm not totally sure what finally got me to see it, but I've come to understand something - I'm an artist. Truly this feeling is so freeing and I can't wait to see where I will go now that I'm liberated. I realised: I really, really, just don't care about anyone else. I don't care about other people's skill level, someone being better than me, all the competition and ego. Since fundamentals I've been trying so hard to emulate someone else's art - the 'Sheridan' style, that '4th year's' style, that 'industry pros' style. What about my style? What about just making marks on the page and constantly learning and being hungry to improve? Mind you, I had a reason back in fundies to replicate others - to get into the program - but now I know what I have to do. I've gotta draw... DRAW, make art, learn and obey the laws of good draftsmanship, break them occasionally, make a mess, explore, try something I'm afraid of, no more playing it safe, fail. "Man, look how that guy draws grass! Look how this one does his eyes, his lips, his hands, hell, look how this one paints clouds!" No. I'm going to look at real grass, real faces, and real clouds, because I'm sick of copying someone else's interpretation. This week all the teacher's were saying it - how long haven't I been listening? Watters said, "Forget the horse shit - enjoy the journey. That's all its about." Wow, that is the best line I've ever heard. I'm playing this game 'till the end but not the same way. I've been blind all this time. There is a race but it's only against yourself. I just want to make art. Moving, expressive and beautiful art. And now that I think about it, I know where this revelation came from - from all the images I've done that weren't really mine. All the bodies I've painted that were imitated. All the lines that I've scribbled that were stolen. Sure, all art has been done - but not by me. So I drew some ugly hands, some imperfect circles, some weightless lines - I don't care. They arent the last ones I'll ever draw and I'm not going to be held accountable for trying. That is what I'm capable of. At that moment, it was the best I could do. And it's mine. All those errors are mine and I'm pleased because it shows my ability in its rawest purest unaltered form. No cheats, no hiding, this is what I can offer but I can improve. No, I won't get it right the first shot but maybe in thirty. I'll take out the wrapped eraser. This is not in the slightest trying to say that I don't admire other people's work, I love it all. Maybe this is uninteresting and overly personal but I wanted to say it. This is the best post I've ever written. These are the truest words I've ever said. This is art in writting because it's coming from something real. Pure emotion, uncropped, unedited. If a blog is a like a diary then this is one of my dearest entries because I really think I've changed the way I see it all.

I. Will. Just. Draw. That is the journey.

I'd love to show more.

Change of Plans

Everything I said I would do for the rest of the summer has gone out the window! I've started work on a freelance gig and it's going to be a really fun but heavy project. It will most likely lead into the school year which means no art from me and no art from the project (I have to sign agreements saying they own the work etc). But I haven't signed yet so heres one of the development sketches. So.. I shall see you guys in a few. Gotta love summer, and this one will be good 'till the last drop.

See, to them, you're just a freak...

A creature from my sketchbook that I want to paint up. So I bought a new 22" widescreen LCD monitor and its rocking my world. On my old beast of a monitor the colours were completely inaccurate and everything looked darker than it really was. Looking at my previous posts, ALL my images look SO wrong! The contrast is wrong, the blacks are greys and the colours aren't nice and rich. Monitor callibration is probably my pet nuisance when working digitally, but this new screen is going to be a great step up.

On a side note, The Dark Knight was so damn good. I'm not a Batman fan by any means, in fact I can't stand watching the old Adam West TV series at all. But this was the one movie of the summer that didn't let me down - finally something that delivered.

The Acolyte

"What do you think, mom?"

"He looks strong, powerful, but he looks compassionate."
"You mean like a Hagrid type?"
"Ya."

The Dead Lands

Actual Size: 5500x2182

The Nobel and his guard risk the treacherous path of the Dead Lands. Undead corpses of cursed townspeople banished to this wasteland moan and claw at the passersby. Few live to even tell of this infamous passage, and any man who dares to cross it only does so if there is absolutely no sane alternative.

No doubt you're probably sick of seeing this one - so am I! It's funny sometimes you start something and think 'yeh that will be cool' but then it lingers on and on and you feel like the burden will never go away. I feel freed really.

About a month ago I finished reading the acclaimed medieval epic called The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follet. It is the best book I have ever read and its unlikely I'll ever find another quite like it. Once you've tasted that wine you can never go back. Anyway, it opened my mind to a lot of things about medieval life and I suppose I was loosely inspired by it to do something in that time - but with zombies.

Ratify

Here's a sketch that will be turned into something a little more polished soon. This man-rat, imprisoned for years in the castles dark dungeons, is offered freedom in exchange for his loyalty and service. And the other is that quick sketch I mentioned below. There are many things I could do with it but I'm leaving it as a practice piece.

I'm longing to get back to the usual: the zoo, some TSA, drawing, painting, learning 3D... I'll be leaving work next week to start focusing on all these things. Can't wait. Now is the time to start the co-op portfolio for next year. I want to be as prepared as I possibly can be.

By the way, I saw Wall-E last week.. I actually don't think it lived up to my expectations. Imagery, acting, cinematography? Excellent obviously, we expect no less. But I had some issues with the story and I thought it could have been pushed so much more. I also REALLY disliked the use of live-action in it. Thoughts?

Boiling Point

So lately I've been frustrated.. working an excruciating warehouse job 6days a week with long hours and no energy for art is annoying! Posting at all over the next few weeks is unlikely. I wish I was drawing and painting! This is my first summer not working on any kind of freelance project and hopefully it will be my last. I think we can all agree that general labour is not well suited to us creative types, especially when that means repeatedly stuffing 1000 Bratz girl costumes into 1000 brown boxes for 10hours straight.

Despite the inconvenience, money is money, and JK Rowling owns. (Um what?) I was sent this video of JK Rowling making a speech at this year's Harvard graduation ceremony - similar to the one by Steve Jobs if you've seen it. What she says is absolutely brilliant; something that everyone must see. This 20min video is about the powerful driving force that is failure and the need to have imagination. As I've expressed here before, I just love this woman, and her message came at an appropriate time for me. Check it HERE.

Above is a peak of something I'm working on.

War Trinket

Actual size: 5000x3566

A centaurian warrior receives a final blessing before heading off to die. This was so fun to do but also very tedious. After a while I couldn't 'see' the image anymore so I took a week off and finished it up this morning. I was also delayed by a severe tonsil infection that almost killed me. As always, I tried some new things here - diving into the world of texture, foliage, animal anatomy, etc. This is by far my best work, and personal favourite.

What's Cooking

May 22

May 15

ALERT: SPECIMEN04-TXR ESCAPING

Unveiled

Not sure if anyones noticed the link to my site below my profile, but now there's actually stuff on it! I've had time to work on it recently and so, while still incomplete, the pages are up and simply need to be filled with some art. Its purpose is two-fold: 1) to showcase my art in a proper gallery without having to go through posts and archives, and 2) to practice my website making skills. Growing up I'd always wanted to make one but didn't have the technical knowledge, money, or reason. Now I do. So check it!

A Siren's Call

Actual size: 4000x1800

A siren is a creature in Greek mythology that is half woman and half bird or fish below the navel. Enchanted by their song, sailors would be lured to their island and.. killed (although I'm not sure if eaten). Intentionally, I set up some challenges for myself in this piece with things I've never painted before: namely hair, feathers, and blood. This is also the first image I've ever posted that was done completely in PS. Funny, this started out as just a head sketch / colour thumbnail for my 'actual' painting but it kind of just evolved really quickly into its own illustration. This took about 3 nights worth of work - 10hrs or so.

The Folio

Well my portfolio and demo reel and all that jaz has been wrapped up. Here are some pages from it that have artwork unseen. My focus this summer was background painting and colour and so aside from some of my digital work I included a handful of traditional gouache paintings. Unfortunately there's not much else to say... other than letting you know my 360 died. I actually can't believe my xbox would fail me at a time like this. Stay cool.

Game Over

Sombrero time, Gonzalez! Has it been one week already? It's so great having free time to do my own thing for a bit. I'm working on a painting, learning 3D, wrapping up my demo reel, and sleeping 9 beautiful hours a day. I'm in Oakville right now adding another second or so to my muzzle animation. Despite the 4 school-less months ahead there is so much to do, so much to learn. Right now I'm kind of struggling with what I want to start focusing on - it starts here. 3D? 2D? 1D? Maybe I'll just play it safe and skip to 4D. CG seems the most reliable way to go. It's pretty damn hard.. so for now I'll be creating art one vertex at a time. Above, just some quick colour thumbnails of my medieval storyboard.

Congrats to the 3rd and the 4th year films! The group films were definetly taken to the next level this year bravo. As for the 4th year films, "C-Block" was the best thing I have ever seen. It was like the animation I'd always wanted to make but hadn't thought of yet - it said everything I could ever want to say in my own film. Absolutely awesome - check the creator here.

One. More. Week.

This year went by quickly. It was hard too, a lot of struggling, and a few leaks in the boat (good thing our boat has a smiley on it). As always, I'd like to thank my buddies for their encouragement and another awesome time. Without you I'd only draw half circles. So, couple smaller assignments left to go, and six more days, and we'll be 3rd years. Which reminds me, I've seen glimpses of some of the 3rd and 4th year films and this year they look really tight - polished. I can't wait for the screening next week. And here are some of the LDs that I spent a million years scanning in, because posting on an art blog without art is... a sin.